So, you were probably scrolling through Instagram or Facebook, keeping tabs on your friends, when you stumble upon a photo. The photo consists of a close friend of yours and someone they would consider their close friend. You stalk a little and check out this new friend only to find a photo of them with your ex. Instantly, you’re crushed. You yell at the universe and stars above for guiding you to this unwanted discovery.
You start stalking this person. You figure out their name, their physical appearance, their mutual associations, what they do in their spare time, everything. I really hate having the ability to find out anything I want at the tips of my fingers so easily. Social media is really scary at giving us this exposure, no matter how much privacy we set. If you dig deep enough, you can find anything you want; we are like our own personal detectives.
You start comparing yourself to her. You either compare yourself to her and praise yourself or completely strip yourself into pieces. We, as women, like to associate how if someone looks like us, they are probably a carbon copy of our personalties and interests as well.
So, she has brown hair, green eyes, and is of average height like you; this means she must love working out and jelly filled donuts just like you. With this association, we start to go even deeper. We start to think, “Oh, of course, she’s probably a better version of me. Her butt is bigger or her hair is longer”.
The most crippling is seeing how happy your ex looks with someone who is similar to you.
You simply can’t wrap your head around the fact that someone you love could have moved on from you in such a timely manner right when you began mending your heart. It leaves you to think, “What could have I done better?”.
First thing you should do is get off of the person’s social media pages. Stop looking at the comments and the likes and the tweets. It’s not gonna help you because you are assuming happiness. You never know what is going on behind the screen.
Secondly, remember who you are and the biology of the world. Now, I’m not going to give a lesson of evolution; however, there are billions of people in the world who are widely varied among the pack. Genes and acquired traits are washed back and forth like no tomorrow.
So keep this in mind when you think she is a better version of you. Simply, because she is not better than you. No one is better than you. The only one who is better than you is the new version of yourself. Grow, develop, learn. The world is limitless and is in the palm of your hands. Don’t take for granted how much you have to offer and how much is offered.
Maybe she is the apple of his eye for now. Maybe his needs and interests in a signifiant other has swayed. Maybe he is testing the waters. Who knows and, frankly, who cares. You have your life and he has his. You both chose to live it in the manner you appease to.
Yes, it’s sad to have to succumb to the realization that things couldn’t work out for the best. You need to experience things in your life so you have a more crystal clear image of what you want in your life, who you want to be in it, and how deserving you are.
Close your phone, and go for a walk. Go out with your friends. Stay happy.
Read a book. Go experience the world. Once you lose yourself into the world, something magical just might happen when you least expect it, and that is even sweeter than chocolates he got you on Valentine’s Day.
Photo Credit: Ryan Moreno